yes.

Google search term of the day:

“piano playing lobsters”.

Come on, guys. Lobsters don’t even have fingers.

-@

another ten-second update

Barack Obama wanted me to have some cupcakes.

No matter your political affiliation, you just might find yourself giggling about this, or at least feeling a little warm in the heart?

-@

ten-second update

Hop on over to Dave Barry’s most recent blog post and enter to win some truly useless prizes.

It’s no coincidence that all my good blog fodder comes from him lately…

-@

you probably thought i was kidding

Ladies and gentlemen, I did it.

I just submitted the form to register for the upcoming tryouts for Rockstar Curling. The registration form asked me about things like my previous athletic achievements and why I think I could be a great Rockstar Curler (Answers: I played a year of JV hockey in high school, and I think curling is underappreciated as a ridiculous-looking sport and I want to bring national attention to its merits, respectively, tongue planted firmly in cheek). I also may or may not have an RSS subscription to the Rockstar Curling blog.

I was mostly kidding when I filled out the form, but at the same time there’s definitely a part of me that thinks it would be totally sweet to go to Lake Placid and learn to curl for free and become an obscure, useless television star.

In other news, I’m irrationally amused by Google search terms. Here are the two winners of today so far.

-“is Ryan Seacrest vapid?”
Even though this one’s a plant by my sister, I still think it is search-term gold. It’s an excellent question and a thoroughly comedic sentence. The answer, my friends, is a resounding “yes”.
-“lobsters having fun”
I’m relieved that someone out there is concerned about whether or not lobsters have fun. The first Google result defines “fun” in a way I wasn’t quite expecting, but the first Google image result is even better:

Anybody see any lobsters in this photo?

-@

let me check the Googles.

My favorite thing about checking out the “Blog Stats” area of my dashboard is seeing what search terms brought people over here. So, in honor of my 683rd pageview, here are some lists of things people have Googled to get to my blog, in various orders according to various criteria.

Most Searched

Coming in first is the phrase “you are my brother forever” with a whopping fifteen hits. This is not at all surprising. When I was writing the series of entries about American Idol’s Renaldo Lapuz I figured it contained about a zillion buzzwords that would bring traffic to the post. Sort of a cheap trick, but hey, it worked, and it was mostly unintentional.

This key word beats the runner up on my list by 11 hits. There really aren’t any others worth mentioning in this category, so I’ll move on to…

The “What Were They Thinking?” Searches

Ladies and gentlemen, these are pretty good. We’ll start off with my favorite of the Weird Search Terms: “can you get sick eating dead lobster”. One soul searched this and scrolled through seven other results to get to me. What gets me about it is this: this person is Googling the effects of eating dead lobster as if he or she were accustomed to an alternative. That alternative, I can only imagine, is eating… live lobster? I personally have a thing about eating food that remotely resembles what it looked like while alive, but I’m fairly confident I’m not the only one who would think twice about eating a live lobster.

From way out in left field comes “make lobster on keyboard decisions”. I’d go on about this but I really can’t for the life of me figure out what it means. And here’s the interesting thing: my blog doesn’t show up in the first 20 pages of Google results for those terms. Somebody felt strongly enough about these key words to go through more than 200 results to find me. That’s dedication, whoever you are. That’s the type of person I like to have hanging around here. Come back any time, you, who are so concerned about making lobster on keyboard decisions!

Other choice items from this category are “underwater theme dental”, “recipe bacon prune loaf”, “tie clip, lobster” and “one off tractor”.

Hopefully the next 683 (read, arbitrary number, until I feel like doing this again) pageviews will provide me with more delightfully odd, delectably random search terms. Until then, I recommend that nobody make any lobster on keyboard decisions until we can get this issue solved.

-@

my new calling.

I’m going to try out for Rockstar Curling.

From the article:

The show would involve U.S.-wide tryouts starting this year, open to anyone 18 or older. A panel of coaches will select two teams – five men and five women – to train for six months, all expenses paid, at Lake Placid, N.Y.

They would train eight hours a day under professional coaches before going to regional playdowns for the 2010 U.S. Olympic trials in February 2009.

If they win, they’re off to the Vancouver Olympics, unlikely as that may seem.

From TheStar.com, found via Dave Barry’s blog.

-@

best part of waking up?

I have a post brewing.

Until then, here’s this, for fun:

-@

an appeal to feedreaders everywhere

My young blog’s Best Day Ever was last Monday the 14th, when I had 43 pageviews. If you’re my sister you may recognize that number as your favorite number. Cool, right?

Guys, so far today I have 42 pageviews. Just one more will tie my all-time (okay, one-week) record.

In other news, I’m terribly sorry to have to point you in the direction of ridiculous things two days in a row, but Juli sent this my way and I think it’s brilliant: Super Terrific Japanese Pizza Time. It’s an ad for some Japanese pizza, and guys, it really is super terrific. The ad, not the pizza. I wouldn’t know about the pizza. But it sure does look super terrific.

What isn’t super terrific, you ask?

The phrase “3 degrees”, for one, especially when coupled with the phrase “before windchill”.

-@

the most wanted/unwanted songs

Guys.

Real update to come later this evening maybe, but seriously, first, go here. Some dude did some thing and amalgamated the World’s Most Wanted Song and the World’s Most Unwanted Song.

They’re spectacular.

Truly.

Ups to Ryan, through whom I found this gem.

-@

this is the morning report

We interrupt your daily grind to give you news on two very important subjects.

For starters, as of about 10:20 this morning, I am officially done with the Dental Epic upon which I embarked in September. Eighty jillion appointmens and nineteen gazillion dollars later, I’ve got a clean-ish bill of dental health and I don’t have to stop by 820 Davis again until March, ignoring the fact that I walk by the building every day on my way to school.

The other piece of important news is the fact that I found the YouTube of the American Idol segment I was laughing so hard about last night. Ladies and gentlemen, here it is:

It starts to get good around 3:15, when Randy and Paula start getting into it and dancing along at the table, and it only has up to go from there. Around 5:15 is where I completely lost it.

I could watch this video seventeen times a day and probably never stop laughing. Oh, Paula, you’re my favorite drunk TV bitch!

-@